How Do I Let Go and Move Forward?

 “Many of my clients can envision the next chapter of their life stories, but need some help actualizing that vision,” according to Dr. Keith Ablow, one of the nation’s leading life coaches. “Sometimes it’s about resources, but very often it is about the resolve to let go of something they have, in order to get something else that speaks more to their heart.”

This is not an uncommon challenge. Many of us are risk averse. And many of us tend to interpret change as risky—taking away what is familiar and safe to us. As the saying goes, “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”

Ablow believes the roots of this risk aversion seem to be hard-wired into us. As children, we need encouragement to let go of comforting items, such as a blanket or stuffed toy that we put our innocent faith into for a sense of security. We need to be coaxed to let go of our parents’ hands when we start our first day of school.  During many of life’s milestones we literally need help to let go, then move forward. 

Dr. Ablow developed a program called Pain-2-Power where he works with clients to help them actualize the next chapters of their lives by letting go of what may be holding them back. “I encourage my clients to let go of something that they have, in order to get something that they want,” Ablow said.

Letting go can come in many forms: letting go of a job in order to start your own business, letting go of one investment to trade into another, letting go of some income to become the artist you feel you were always meant to be. Sometimes achieving the goals you’ve always held onto but never actualized requires letting go and embracing change.

Ablow warns that we should not minimize the psychological/cognitive shift required to let go, then get moving. Steven Pressfield’s book, The War of Art, makes a convincing case for how difficult the shift can be.  He says that “resistance” to let go, then get moving is responsible for most of people’s unrealized potential:

Resistance obstructs movement only from a lower sphere to a higher.  It kicks in when we seek to pursue a calling in the arts, launch an innovative enterprise, or evolve to a higher station morally, ethically, or spiritually.  

So if you’re in Calcutta working with the Mother Teresa Foundation and you’re thinking of bolting to launch a career in telemarketing . . . relax.  Resistance will give you a free pass.

We’re all vulnerable to risk aversion and allowing resistance to obstruct our path forward.

How do you let go, then get moving?  Dr. Keith Ablow shares three ways to begin:

1) Don’t think about trading one journey for another, entirely.  Put a toe in the water.  By this, Dr. Ablow means that if you are considering letting go of a career as a travel agent to become a travel writer, don’t tell yourself that you would have to quit, have no income, grab your laptop and start traveling the world, writing all the while.  Buy a book on travel writing and read it.  Or write to a few noted travel writers and ask for some advice on transitioning. Or write a piece on your favorite destination and seek to have it published online or in a travel magazine.  Taking one step toward the next chapter of your life story can make the next step easier.  Then, the steps can fall very much into line.

2) Stop assuming that you can’t be the one who succeeds.  Lots of us stymie ourselves from bold next steps because we assume they will never yield real success.  You have to envision real success, in order to make it real.  And even if the business doesn’t make it, won’t the experience be invaluable? Won’t you have learned from the experience? Will you really be unable to recapture the income you had prior to taking the risk?  Unlikely.

 

3) Believe that your idea was given to you by a Higher Power.  It doesn’t matter if you believe the Higher Power to be God, the Universe or some mysterious location in your central nervous system.  The idea has meaning.  If it keeps beckoning you, then there’s a reason for that.  It isn’t random or ridiculous.  It’s real.  Explore it.

Many people struggle taking the first step, even the second step, that is when you should seek help—someoene who can guide you through letting go to move forward, like a life coach.

Dr. Keith Ablow believes “the power of two is not just 1 + 1.  An exponential increase in energy is possible when you have someone in your corner, asking tough questions and also offering real support and encouragement (especially if that’s someone who has lots of success stories to draw from).”

Dr. Keith Ablow is the founder of The Ablow Center where he offers his own unique program, Pain-2-Power.  He said that clients who want to work with him 1:1 should email info@keithablow.com.